Ok Obama has the election pretty much sewn up. So naturally people calling themselves ‘liberals’ are using this precious down time to build bridges with radicals to their left and principled proponents of peace and civil liberties to their right. All liberals have for years agreed that it’s important to hold the President accountable from the get-go and most agree that this tradition of forming a broad-based, post-election coalition has mostly worked.
Ha ha, I kid. Of course our self-regulating propaganda system selects only for liberals and lefts who are psychotically averse to any kind of alliance but the toxic, one-sided one they habitually make with the Democratic Party. Hence, while it’s true that good liberals can never say too many necessary things about the rival candidate’s underwear, wife or moral similarity to Walter White, this must never get in the way of admonishing, libeling and shunning those with whom they ostensibly agree on many things but who differ with them on how one actually tempers evil in government.
From the standpoint of how much liberals can shit into the ether, it’s still a long way to the election. On a daily, even hourly schedule, many assholes will say many asshole things while other assholes applaud. Since they have basically tasked themselves with defending the indefensible, this has the potential to be interesting, were any of them remotely up to the task. But they’re not. So when they’re interesting it’s only in the way that other people’s car wrecks are interesting, except car wrecks don’t make you want to punch the condescending smirk off of a dipshit’s face. These people are, for the most part, beneath contempt and arguing bestows a dignity they do not deserve. So I propose mockery rather than arguments this election season.
To that end, I am introducing a contest to determine what American, between now and the election, most purely typifies The Liberal Asshole. You may ask, what exactly is a liberal asshole? To which I reply – are you kidding me??? If you don’t know what a liberal asshole is than you probably are one and are therefore not welcome here. If not, the answer will soon reveal itself via writings and musings offered for your review.
Here is how the contest works:
1. The platform is Twitter. There may be supplementary stuff on this blog, but it’s not essential to participating.
2. Contest consists of a series of heats where two individuals are evaluated against each other based on something heinous thing they have written, said or done RECENTLY, preferably since the last heat.
3. Random assholery doesn’t count. We are talking about high-profile assholery, preferably in long-form video or text. Tweets will only be considered if they constitute an interesting, high-profile series
4. The winner of each heat competes against the new entry for the next one and so on and so on until the last asshole standing.
5. Heats take place whenever the emergence of a worthy item and my interest co-incide. They last between 24 and 48 hours.
6. Anyone can offer an item for consideration and anyone can vote. Just use the hashtag #BiggestLiberalAsshole2012. If you don’t use the hashtag, your vote may not be counted.
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